One of the hardest lessons I have learnt this far on my journey is to accept less.
I set goals, ideals and have high expectations.
I work for what I want and I tend to achieve my goals.
I set what I believe are realistic and achievable goals and I commit to them.
When I divorced, I had an ideal in my mind. I described how it would be. I had this vision; of us all getting along, family events being a welcome celebration for all, and it would all be peachy. Great for the kids. I articulated this in discussions, meetings and in writing. I planned the moves and changes that needed to happen.
But, it didn’t work like that.
At all. No matter what I tried, or how I attempted to make it work, it wouldn’t, couldn’t and it exhausted me trying.
The more I tried, the more resistance I was met with.
I battled and battled, and it simply would not work.
So, having exhausted all resources, I made the decision to stop trying.
To consciously walk away and create some space in my life for other things.
Too much of my energy, too many of my skills and resources were being eaten up by this goal that was just not attainable.
For me, that was a huge struggle, I felt terribly guilty. For giving up, like I was a failure for quitting. That I should be ashamed because I could not do this. I felt I had done something wrong, that I should have been able to make this work. I discovered I really don’t like not being able to achieve a goal.
Learnt a lot about myself.
Then, I discovered with the energy, skills and resources placed in other areas that so many opportunities opened up. I discovered how much better I felt, within myself. I realised the damage that this was doing to me and my well-being. A truly toxic situation.
Sometimes we struggle and fight for something too hard. We are so determined to make it happen we forget to let go and allow things to happen. We forget that there is always another road.
And for me, that was the best lesson.
Walk away with Grace and dignity, if it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be. Don’t waste your time and energy on things that are no good for you. Sometimes it is better to accept less than we aimed for. Sometimes it is better to have nothing than to waste all your time and energy fighting for a goal or a relationship that is never going to be what you need it to be.
No deal is better than a bad deal. Be prepared to walk away.
@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram