Do what you love, not what you think you are good at

Do what you love. Study your passion. Make a career out of your passions.

Just because we are talented in a particular area does not mean we have the drive and/or desire to work with that.

If you are good at something, sometimes we think we enjoy it. But, sometimes, really it is the success we are enjoying, rather than the process and the activity.

If you can find something you really love to work on, it is much easier to stay motivated.

Much easier to put the push into the project.

Passion. Drive.

What really gets you going?

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram.

Sometimes we have to accept less

One of the hardest lessons I have learnt this far on my journey is to accept less.

I set goals, ideals and have high expectations.

I work for what I want and I tend to achieve my goals.

I set what I believe are realistic and achievable goals and I commit to them.

When I divorced, I had an ideal in my mind. I described how it would be. I had this vision; of us all getting along, family events being a welcome celebration for all, and it would all be peachy. Great for the kids. I articulated this in discussions, meetings and in writing. I planned the moves and changes that needed to happen.

But, it didn’t work like that.

At all. No matter what I tried, or how I attempted to make it work, it wouldn’t, couldn’t and it exhausted me trying.

The more I tried, the more resistance I was met with.

I battled and battled, and it simply would not work.

So, having exhausted all resources, I made the decision to stop trying.

To consciously walk away and create some space in my life for other things.

Too much of my energy, too many of my skills and resources were being eaten up by this goal that was just not attainable.

For me, that was a huge struggle, I felt terribly guilty. For giving up, like I was a failure for quitting. That I should be ashamed because I could not do this. I felt I had done something wrong, that I should have been able to make this work. I discovered I really don’t like not being able to achieve a goal.

Learnt a lot about myself.

Then, I discovered with the energy, skills and resources placed in other areas that so many opportunities opened up. I discovered how much better I felt, within myself. I realised the damage that this was doing to me and my well-being. A truly toxic situation.

Sometimes we struggle and fight for something too hard. We are so determined to make it happen we forget to let go and allow things to happen. We forget that there is always another road.

And for me, that was the best lesson.

Walk away with Grace and dignity, if it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be. Don’t waste your time and energy on things that are no good for you. Sometimes it is better to accept less than we aimed for. Sometimes it is better to have nothing than to waste all your time and energy fighting for a goal or a relationship that is never going to be what you need it to be.

No deal is better than a bad deal.  Be prepared to walk away.

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram

 

What works when you are feeling down?

What works for you when you are feeling down?

Do you have a strategy to counter act those feelings?

To nip it in the bud? Or do you not realise until it’s eating you up and dragging you down?

Do you take a walk? Do some exercise? Stretch?

Listen to some music? Turn off social media?

Get some sunshine? Meet a friend?

Do you know how to stay positive when you are being impacted by negative circumstances?

How do you protect yourself?

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram

What I have learned about bullies, trolls and manipulators.

Bullies, trolls, manipulators, dandy folk who send those gorgeous little love notes and compliments; via text, email, comments on social media, behind your back, whatever.  You know the ones.  Haters.

They really, really don’t like to be exposed in the real world.

They for some reason don’t realise that being a twit online makes you a twit offline as well.

They hate it when their dirty little secret is exposed.

Makes them all upset and whiny when you expose them. They claim you are picking on them. Poor things.

I thought it was called integrity.

I’ve learned that we must laugh, and move on. Don’t get emotionally invested. These folk don’t respond to reason or logical debate.

This is not about you. When someone sends you rubbish, calls you filthy names, that is about them.

Don’t keep it a secret. Don’t enable. Expose it. Shout it out. Send a clear message that you don’t tolerate that behaviour. Then walk on.

It’s not bullying to expose a bully. It’s being honest.

And honestly, if you don’t want the world to think you are a twip. Don’t be a twip.

Peace and love good folk.

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram

kmhunt2014@outlook.com for bookings.

Self-Care

I harp on about self-care a lot.

And here we go again!

I have taken the time to create myself some space, to step back. As sometimes the work and study I do crosses over; is relevant to something that has happened in my life.

This can trigger emotional responses, bring up some memory or feeling I thought I had dealt with.

For me, I need to take care of myself, take some time out. I can tell when it is getting tough, it becomes really hard work to stay on task, to stay focused on the material. At that point I’ve got to step away or it will become too much.

I will and have worked until I have burnt out. I have busted with the emotional and/or physical strain. Neither is much fun.

Be aware of your feelings. Watch your energy levels. Be responsible for your contribution to the energy in every single room you enter. If you need space and time to regather and recover from toxicity or negativity, high levels of grief, anxiety or passion, create that time and space for yourself.

Recognise the need for calm. If there is not calm and quiet in your environment, find it.

Focus on what really matters.

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram

Blocked!

Some days when I need to write a paper the words flow endlessly.

Other days I struggle to put a sentence together.

Those days are hard on my motivation and my confidence. Especially if I let the doubt creep in.

When the words won’t flow I try and work in short bursts.

Sometimes I need to drop it and move away for a few hours. I need to wait for it to digest. Take a step back and then come at it again.

Other times, I find the only way is to force myself to sit and write.

Today, no matter what tricks I try, the words are slow to come. This paper is not a topic I would have selected. It’s not appealing to me. It is difficult, sticky and complex.

I know the only answer today is to sit and write. Thinking about this will only make it worse. Doubting myself only makes it harder.

But, knowing this and putting it into action are different things.

Some days are a challenge.

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram.

Live well

Reminded recently of how fragile life is. How families can be destroyed in a second.

These times cause me to stop and reflect.

To consider goals, opportunities, values, and daily life.

Life is too short to be anything but happy and loving.

Your bad mood will pass; the harsh words you have said may leave a scar.

Laugh. Love. Live it big. Enjoy life.

Work hard, on all the things you are passionate about.

Be kind. Love each other well. Grab opportunities when they come.

Get out of your box.

Don’t be judgemental and so hard on others. Let them be.

Be careful what you do, say and post.

Enjoy the moment.

Nothing lasts for long. Change is our constant companion.

It’s not always an easy road. Take care of each other and yourself.

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram.

Goal Setting

Do you set goals regularly?

Does it help you achieve?

Does it keep you on track?

Do you have a good strategy in place around goal setting?

What works for you?

Do you manage to hold yourself accountable?

@kmhunt2017 on Twitter and Instagram

Email for bookings.

Clarify

I recently saw an instance of a person receiving unwanted, uninvited attention from another individual.

While perhaps the sender of these messages was lonely, sad and unhappy, and the messages were unwelcome, there is a need to clarify this.

In this instance the receiver was reluctant to rock the boat, upset the sender or engage in conflict and so ignored the messages.

However, it is always a good idea to clarify your position.

Draw clear boundaries. Define relationships. Be very clear about what is okay with you and what you are uncomfortable with.

Ensure your partner is equally clear if you are in a relationship.

Many women (and some men too) are on the receiving end of unwanted images, comments, messages and suggestive remarks. If you don’t like it, find it offensive or uncomfortable, please speak up.

Don’t ignore this stuff. It enables it to continue. And it’s been that way forever. Don’t just give that tight lipped smile. Speak up.

Communicate really clearly about what you are prepared to accept and what you are not.

If you receive something that makes you uncomfortable say so. Don’t stay silent.

Don’t engage the sender. Just clarify that you are uncomfortable with the exchange and change the subject.

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram

 

Way too much pressure

As the year draws to a close and our kids finish another year of school, think about the messages we send.

During HSC time I heard a lady on the radio, in passing, I can’t even tell you who or what station; she was speaking about the pressures of the HSC.

In her view it impacted the whole family for 12 months and she had “given up a year of her life” to get her son through.

She indicated her other children were upset, feeling she was doing too much for the child doing the HSC.

My reaction, having just had one do his HSC and one about to start, was REALLY?!
I didn’t give up a year of my life, and I don’t plan to do so.

I think, we are sending kids the wrong message. We have made this a huge deal. Instead of something we all go through, instead of normalising it, we have created way too much drama and pressure. We are telling these kids it is huge. When we need to be teaching them to deal with events like the HSC.

We need to help kids learn to deal with pressure, to help them find the resources inside themselves that they can draw on when things get tough in life. Kids shouldn’t need a parent support person 24/7 “giving up their life” to get through the HSC. We need to teach kids to knuckle down, work hard, accept that pressure and stress and deadlines happen and we have to deal with them. Yes, teach kids strategies to help. Support them sure. But “giving up your life” sends a dangerous message.

It’s the HSC. Everyone does it (well, almost). It does not define you. It’s one step in a long road.

Support, encourage kids. Help them out. But sending the message that you’ve given up 12 months of your own life is placing way too much pressure.

We need to teach kids that times get tough, things get uncomfortable and they can cope. They can manage. Life lessons.

Share your thoughts.

@kmhunt2014 on Twitter and Instagram

Email for bookings.